Thursday, May 10, 2007


Yup, anyway just using this as a beta version, in time will probably produce better more focused ones.

The hols are here, just some updates on how life is going
- got internship with SIA, dont have to go to office for first 2-3 weeks...good, cos its damn far
-started working out more intuitively, paying less attention to HIT and more to volume training. Finally everything Shengxing was talking about clicked. More on this later
- got a tan at Tat's place, Ok, no more "white chicken"
-successfully moved back home
-still figuring what to do for pageant

So basically when i graduate these are the things I would like to see
- second uppers
-Lee Soo Ann award
- Dean's List at least once
-2 internships at big names (MICA and SIA-1 govt, 1 GLC MNC), hope to add 1 agency before commencement
-Mr C Block
-2 culture groups
-1 IBG sport (IHG is not feasible)

Anyway abt the gym
- something abt Charles Glass make things so clear, i cant explain it, but Joe Weider's instinctive principle of training finally makes sense.
-Shengxing said something abt the difference between knowledge (what i have) and what he calls 'tricks', (meaning the small details like angles and planes)
- Figured out some things
1) The feel of the movement is more important than its execution. You dont have to perform everything textbook style, you must feel it in the right muscle at the correct angle
2) You dont need full stretch for everything (especially pecs and tris)...joint safety matters
3) Volume training works better in creating that pump

So here's the plan (for now)
- Gradual increase in gains rather than loading-ripping periodization. Cant afford to get fat 3 months from a show, so gotta stop late night bingeing for "loading".
- Do the 6 small meals a day thing
- Bump up protein consumption to 3 times a day (consider double scooping)
-Take burner like Universal's Super Cut 3
- Continue taking large amounts of water
- Add more fiber to meals to form bulk and replace starchy carbs
- Make my own celltech with glucolin, Tang and creatine
- Need a multivit too

Training wise
- Shoulders with arms
--> just doing presses works my tris a great deal, they're all warmed up and ready to go
- Chest and back
--> balances out the front with some tension from the posterior chain
- Legs and heavy abs
--> no need for serious squats, just extension and curls for the cutting, size wise im pretty happy. Calf presses for the upper calves, dont want elephant legs, i want diamonds

Week 1

Reverse crunches 3X15
Bent Knee crunches (no rest in between)
- feet vertical 15
-knees at 90 degress 15
- feet on ground 15
Seated twists X 70

Seated lateral raise- 15-12-10-8-drop sets
Standing rows with barbell- 15-12-10-8
Smith machine presses 15-12-10-8-rest pause for 3
Reverse flyes on cable crossover
Rotator cuff exercise

Skullcrushers 15-12-10-8 with close grip presses (long head and overall mass), emphasize the negative
Tricep rope pushdowns (outer head)
Dumbbell kickbacks (inner head and the groove)

Close grip preacher curls (for outer thickness)
One arm cable curls (for peak contraction)
Reverse curls
Standing dumbbell curls run-the-rack

Yup, thats workout one, hope to finish it within an hour if i keep strictly to 30 sec rest periods

Friday, February 23, 2007

The Realist Guide to Family Happiness

What is a realist
A realist is a former idealist, who in his naive years cared with all his earnestness to share with others his hopes, dreams and aspirations only to have them crushed by the very same people who are supposed to support him...the family.

But who can blame the family, it is also made up of realist, realist who too were idealist once, who having had their own aspirations mutate into endless bills, a quarrelsome spouse, naggy old matriarchs and economic downturns, feel a deontological responsibility to crush other idealists' dreams before they take root.

I feel it myself. Having made the recent switch from idealist to realist i suddenly feel an overwhelming urge to act as someone else's rigid rod of reality, and hammer into them the consequences of dreams.

Anyhow, this CNY visiting all the different family extensions got me thinking about certain things, and with that in mind, i decided to write the realist's guide to family happiness

What would make, the people who are willing to dash in front of speeding vehicle just to save your life, the very same people who make life a living hell?
Ah yes, family, morbidly strange. The very people who claim to want the best for you and then make decisions to fuck things up. In this book, i will attempt to explain some of these strange behaviors, and then promptly give up. Instead, i will tell you the ways to get around these problems. Getting through them is NOT an option

Universal Principle:
You dont have to be happy to make your family happy

This world is a sick sad place, there isnt enough happiness to go around anymore. If you want your family to be happy, you got to trade in some of your own. Often times, doing what your family likes is opposite to what you want. Like marrying an ugly guy in an arranged marriage and having him demand hot sweaty sex for the rest of your life. Your family would be happy, as for you, just think abt creative ways to die when his bonking you.

Making your family happy means that everytime you do that, a little part of your soul dies, because you cant be what you want to be, aim for what you wanna achieve, and be the individual that you so clearly know you are. But like i said, the title is Family Happiness, not Self Happiness.

So here are the tips to make things a bit less fucked up

Tip #1: Lie to them
Whoever said honesty is the best policy ought to be fucked up the ass....hard. This is the most bullshit advice ever. Here's a simple experiment: go tell your family matriarch that you find her to be a domineering bitch and a difficult woman to live with.

It's honest, but it'll also get you a long and naggy rant about how hard life was and all the tremendous things she had to do to get to these stage where she's getting stuffed with the best that medical science has to offer.

You cant tell your family what it needs to hear ("I think selling the house is a bad decision"), you can only tell them what they want to hear ("as my parents, you are the supreme moral authority, and highest body of knowledge. Only with your superior wisdom and years of experience eating more salt than I have rice, can we circumvent this problem.")

Simply by telling them what they want to hear saves you lots of frustration and wasted effort to explain your divergent point of view. Nod attentively in agreement, and be on your way.

Tip # 2 Dont pee on their moral highground
I know it's frustrating, having a mother who screams at your father more often than anyone else in the family telling you not to talk back to your father. Having your father tell you to listen to your mother right after he talks back to his own. And having a grand old matriarch tell you the value of forgiveness and good temperant when she gets pissed off over the slightest infraction.
Remember, for some reason, just because they are older they will assume that the stuff they do is alright for them, but not for you. Doesnt matter if you're 24 or 33, if there's a couple of years between you two, they are the arbitrators of moral and ethical issues.

Tip #3 Dont argue with them
Ever tried getting a dog to stop peeing on your lawn? Did you try to reason with it, to explain your point of view? No? That's because it would be fucking frustratingly impossible to accomplish.
In a way, talking to parents is like that. They'll never listen to you, and if they do, they wont understand a damn thing you're saying. And before you get your point across they'll start barking mid sentence. So never argue with your parents, it's not worth your time. Feed them a bone and be on your way.

Some people reading this post may think that Im ungrateful to my parents. The truth is, im very grateful to them for taking care of me. Which is why im not dumping their ass on the streets and moving into a bachelor pad where I can bring hot beautiful women home each night.
The fact is that is a very easy option which many guys to choose, but that's not me, that's no way to treat family, even if you think of them as dogs.

Remember, this book is about family happiness, and lying to family does help in keeping things sane. This book aint about sitting down and talking things out, because they wont listen and they wont admit they have a problem. And since you cant convince them to go see a counselor, this book of cheap tricks would have to do.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Who are these assholes?
Obscure actors: All the fun of acting without the loss of privacy

Today, whilst watching B-Grade flick DNA, i realised that im the only person i know of who may actually recognise the unknown actors.......and their even more unknown film credits.
And then i recognised an oft manifested but seldom appreciated talent for recognising really obscure actors.

Whilst most are content scratching their heads wondering " i've seen this guy in some other movie.....o ya he's that guy in (insert movie name)", i will go one step further to not only name him but his various other accomplisments as well.

Introducing the first of many (hopefully) OBSCURE ACTORS OF THE WEEK (aka WHO R THESE ASSHOLES?!)


Some of you are probably wondering "who is this asshole?!". Well, he's a German actor whose more mainstream appearances include Da Vinci Code (as the bank officer who sells out Langton) , Judge Dredd (the corrupt judge who tries to revive Project Lazarus) and...well, that's abt it.

So why the hell, in my infinite wisdom would i know him? Because of the biopic abt the Governor of California See Arnold Run where he plays the Governator in later years.

See Arnold Run also stars another obscure actor (but prominent bodybuilder) Roland Kickinger. He's name sounds like a cross between a badass tool of death and an everday household appliance. One can almost imagine vikings scream "BRING OUT THE KICKINGER!!!!" or an angry but determined housewife muttering "I'll get these dustmites with the Kickinger 2000". So if you must know who the Kickinger is......
seen here playing the young Arnie in See Arnold Run.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves, we are talking about DNA. A film so badly a ripoff of Predator it makes Arnie wanna scream " Ruuuuunnnnnnnn, gooooooo, get to dah chupperrrrr!!!!!!" (translation: run, go, get to the chopper).

DNA stars uber hunk and martial arts extraordinaire Marc Dacascos, who could have saved the film by performing the martial moves he pulled in a show he's better known for Only the Strong (most young males remember this as the only movie about capoeira).

His other works include Cradle to the Grave (the villian who dies by swallowing radioactive isotope), Crying Freeman and other flicks where they needed ethically ambiguous looking Americans to play anything from Asians to Latin Americans. I think he also had a role in Last of The Mohicans and some other obscure French flick called BrotherHood of the Wolf.

Mark is really known more as a martial artists than an actor because of his links. His father is founder of even more obscure martial art Won Hop Kuen Do.

There are a helluva lot of obscure acting talents out there, including guys like Wolf Larsen, Jalal Merhi, Ralf Moeller and everyone's old favourite Sven-Ole Thorsen. I'll get to these guys soon. In the meantime, i gotta start posting the next Badass of the Week.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Ah yes, time for more of the filthosopher's cheesy wisdom.

Few days ago saw a youtube abt some man threatening a driver on board SBS, appparently he was asked to pay for his ride and that pissed him off (strange, i always tot paying for a bus ride was a normal thing). What followed was a rant abt how he was gonna kill the driver and how he was a badass blah blah. But the video is not the subject of this's the viewer comments.

Majority assert that the alleged troublemaker in the video was a Bangla (more correctly Bangladeshi, and often erroneously generalised as construction workers. I know a guy from school who is a Bangladeshi, he's a scholar btw). What followed was some claims abt how easy a Bangla would be to fight back.

Eh wise asses, your confidence in beating up Banglas have prompted me to start a whole new tread, and this time, Mr Bangla is gonna be the first of an inaugural list of ......


The Bangla

With his skinny frame, employer abuse, malnourishment and little rest, it is easy to think that the Bangla cant put up a fight.....right?......WRONG!

What do you do each morning when u go to work? You washup, have breakfast, read the morning paper, take the bus to your office, skive for a while, answer phone calls and type stuff. Then you have the weekends off to play some soccer and catch up on sleep.

You know what the Bangla does everyday for 6 days a week?
He gets up before the sun, has a quick meal, and then spend the rest of the day lifitng weights and hammering stuff. This guy is paid to literally tear down walls and rip toilet fixtures of the floor.

U think he's skinny? Think abt it, this guy doesnt get the best in food but he gets the essentials, none of the fat, none of the nice little flavors we take for granted. This guy is a machine so accustomed to discomfort and fueled by food catered specifically to providing him with the strength to tear shit apart. He looks skinny becaus there isnt any of that extra stuff. His system has been streamlined to fit its intense purpose. All you see on that pure pillar tearing muscle.

You know those exercise machines you have in the gym? Mr Bangla has them too, they're called wheelbarrows filled with heavy shit. Instead of dumbbells this guy is swinging around bricks for hundreds of reps a day.

This guy is paid to workout day and sometimes night. Add a bit of Black Cat and he's unstoppable. So next time you're thinking of picking on a Bangla, remember, he pulled apart a house in the morning and had his boss scream at him, he's had a really bad day and where there's one of him, there's a lot more where he came from.

Mr. Bangla is the first on my Badass of the Week. Next week, i will feature Segata Sanshiro.

Redeeming info for the day:
Bangladeshi's are not to be confused with Indians. They may have a shared history, but calling a Bangla an Indian is like calling a Singaporean Malaysian or a Korean Japanese. Bangladeshi used to be called East Pakistan ( i can hear some of my non-existing audience go : there were two Pakistans?). That happed after Partition in India where Pakistan was born. East and West Pakistan were seperated down the middle by India. After a while, i suppose it just made sense for East Pakistan to gain independence and become Bangladesh.

Stuff to impress old folks but probably leave you a virgin
- the capital of Bangladesh is Dhaka
- Bangladesh is prone to flooding because it is one of the flattest lands in the world

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Well, its been some time since my last rant, wanted to check out what other people were ranting abt on their blogs. It seems the majority of them are busy clubbing and being 'cool' , strategically uploading the better photos of themselves. No one really uploads the puking and passed out drunk in cab photos.

Either way, i started feeling pretty shitty abt my current existence-Mon and Thur I have Judo, weekends are for GF and family, everything in between is for work. Dont get me wrong, I do like the judo, got bruises and all. My sparring partner is mad, he doesnt feel pain and the only thing that will stop him is good old fatigue. Then again, my life seems so one-dimensional. Started thinking abt going out for drinks and revisiting some of the clubs with my NSPI buddies, just so that I could put some nifty photos on my otherwise plain blog. Then i went to google Tuol Sleng. And that really puts things in perspective.

Tuol Sleng (or S21 as it is sometimes known) was where the Khmer Rouge imprisoned and tortured their fellow Cambodians. Of the many that went in (men, women, children, elderly), only 7 survived. At a time when Cambodia's population was abt 7 million, the Khmer Rouge Sons of Bitches managed to kill off 1.7 million of their own, all within just 4 years. What did Pol Pot and his cronies get for their heinous crimes to humanity? They died of old age in their forest hideouts. These bastards must be damn surprised after they die, realising that there is a God after all and its time to pay for their sins.

Stuff like this really makes you realise that life isnt just abt fun, and that the world is much bigger than your martini glass or beer mug. Im not gonna post pictures from Tuol Sleng here, not sure if you guys like looking at torture, but do go google it. Hopefully those images help u see a little clearer.

Monday, August 07, 2006

NUS: Some things to ponder

Dear readers, I regret to inform that instead of telling you how the human race straddles the top of the food chain from the kitchen, this continuum of valid and useful information has to be interrupted by a deep and engaging rant

1) Is Flag a fundraising event to help beneficiaries or just an excuse for Hall A to prove that its better than Hall B?

2) Why do Halls insist that its for the needy if they draw distinction between Faculty and Hall flag collections? If its really charity does it matter who you join?

3) Why cant NUS use some of the money earned from the increased fees to develop a better Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences, to improve its career services, to buy new equipment for the gym and a whole host of other amenities? Instead, it has decided to shift its very small law faculty (by small i mean in terms of population) all the way to another campus, and charter a bus service that will cost petrol and labor at a continuous rate,?A tremendous waste of money.

4) Why is there a need to procure a campus in Bukit Timah when you are already expanding into Warren Golf course?

5) Why the hell would anyone go to NUS Biz and study marketing when its marketing campaign (read: lame ass ads) obviously sucks?

6) How does reminding everyone that NUS is a 100 years old benefit current students?

7) Who benefits from an education in NUS? Students entering the workforce or Professors looking for promotions?

8) What impact does someone being offered an honorary title in a foreign university have on student lives?

9) Can an arts degree be useful to anyone not doing postgrad work?

10) Instead of insisting that arts graduates are versatile and can work in a myriad of industries, why not just indicate their bloody major in the certificate?

Argument between the 3 unis.

NTU: We may be boring, but our students have the best in hands on education
SMU: We may be new but our career direction ensures grads that start work immediately
NUS: Im a 100 years old so all of you shut up.

Polys: All you U-grads dont know shit, its always us getting the job done while u assholes argue abt why you're better you square hatted mother fuckers!

*rant over*

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Why do Gorilla's have small balls?

Having tiny nuts isnt a sign that you are a loser, rather, its an indication that you are king, the alpha male, the grandaddy pimp of the animal world. So why do Gorillas have small balls? Simple- they dont need big ones.

You see, the gorilla is a pimp, its social system is called a harem- one male gorilla to several females and their young. Its really nice to see an entire gorilla family just chilling out- father, mothers, and kids (occasionally the females may engage in some bitchslapping because frankly, you'll get pissed too if you had to share your silverback with another female). Anyway, they remain faithful to each other, the females dont sleep around, and the male fights to protect and care for them.

This brings me to the point about parental investment (technical term). Primates (like gorillas, apes, you and me) take extremely long to reach maturity (refer to previous post). In between all the crying and screaming and baby arse wiping, you also gotta think about feeding and protection and habitat and whatever. Think about it, would you spend your time, money and effort taking care of a brat that isnt yours? I dont think so, neither will the male gorilla, with limited food and resources it cannot afford to. If im gonna care for some kid it better be carrying my genes, no use caring for some black kid that came from my chinese wife if you get what i mean.

After a nice shag the male gorilla is certain (paternal certainty) that the semen carried in its lady's ovaries is its own, and if any sperm is gonna be fertilising the egg, its gonna be his. Some other animals however, dont have such assurance. In the animal kingdom (as in most clubs, pubs and nightspots) the females have the upper hand. For every available female there will be a proportionately higher number of males offering dick. The female can take her pick whereas the rest get filtered out (refer to previous post, evolution and dead virgins).

Some females are classified as promiscous (technical term, not mine), they may have mutiple partners. This is beneficial because she can ensure that only the best sperm survives (out of the pool of many) and that her offspring has a maximal chance of thriving. If you were one of the lucky candidates that gets to mate you wanna maximise the chances of your sperm being the last man standing at the gates to the egg (sperm competition). To do that, you gotta get as many of your soldiers into the fray, to compete with soldiers from other camps. And to do that, you need a lot of jizz, you need to ejaculate more than your rivals. To have more of that love juice, you need larger nuts.

The gorilla doesnt need large nuts because its females are faithful. (Furthermore, some species have semen that forms a vaginal plug so that ejaculate from other males cant get through!).
In summary, if you have large nuts, it's nothing to be proud of. It just means your lady's banging with the neighbours.

Now that you know why gorillas have nano sized nuts, go google the following
i) sexual fitness
ii) sperm competition
iii) parental investment
iv) paternal/ parental certainty

Next time il tell you how we rule the world from the kitchen